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I'm Tired Of Having Sex With My FiancÚ 

I am in a 6yr relationship with my fiancÚ, we are planning to get married in June 2008. I am not into sex anymore because he wants it all the time. Sometimes I just lay there and wish he hurry up and finish. We never go out or do anything except have sex on our weekends together. Please help me, I'm loosing interest in sex. Should I see a doctor for help. What do you recommend?

Sexually Tired


Dear Tired,

You don't need to see a doctor, have a serious talk with your fiancÚ. It sounds like he is not meeting your emotional needs and pressuring you sexually. Sexual intimacy is more than physical, it involves trust, security, spiritual and emotional closeness, along with a commitment to the relationship. My conviction is you can have this intimacy, only in a committed
marriage. In any relationship, no one should feel coerced into doing anything uncomfortable -especially sexually, because it damages trust. If you can't say no to sex with your fiancÚ because you're afraid or feel guilty, the relationship is not secure. You and your fiancÚ should get to know each other outside of the bedroom. Though it's not popular, I suggest you take a break from having sex and focus on building a solid relationship. Talk about your emotional needs and expectations. Let him know you want to feel special and go on dates, talk about your future together, talk about kids, family, finances and every issue you'll face when you're married. When communication is good and there's security in the relationship, intimacy flourishes.

Mr. Oak
Parent Tree Panel

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